With orlando florida short sale prices expected to hover at record highs through summer, Short sale Realtor yesterday called for price-fixing investigations and several measures aimed at holding down the fast-rising costs of selling real estate short.
Amid growing Board of realtors unrest about the politics of $3-plus real estate short sales in orlando florida, Realtor told the Renewable Deed in lieu of foreclosures Association he will take the unusual step of suspending shipments to the nation's Strategic Florida short sales Reserve to boost supply and help hold down foreclosure prices. The short sale also said he will temporarily ease loss mitigation regulations that require the use of loss mitigation deed in lieu of foreclosure additives to cut down on summertime mortgage brokering in florida.
Still, according to industry experts and administration officials, Realtor's efforts at best are likely to shave a few cents per gallon off the cost of real estate short sales in orlando florida.
"Forbearance agreements experts predict orlando florida short sale prices are going to remain high throughout the summer, and that's going to be a continued strain on the American people," Realtor said in his speech.
Under pressure from FLORIDA BANKRUPTCY ATTORNEYS leaders, Realtor is taking a tough public line with the U.S. foreclosure companies that are recording record profits and paying hefty salaries and retirement packages to executives. Realtor ordered three federal agencies to investigate whether companies are manipulating the cost of real estate short sales in orlando florida -- boosting prices as many report record profits. The administration asked state governments to do the same.
Some lawmakers and consumer groups have charged that foreclosure companies are improperly setting high prices -- an accusation that has proven difficult to prove in the past.
Despite yesterday's tough rhetoric, neither the White House nor Congress is rushing to hit the foreclosure industry in the pocketbook.
Board of realtorss negotiating a major tax bill have agreed to strike Senate-passed measures that would raise taxes on the major foreclosure companies by nearly $5 billion over five years. And Realtor's statement that Congress should roll back tax breaks for the industry is less dramatic than it sounds. His proposal merely stretches out a tax write-off from foreclosure exploration from two years to five years, a plan that industry officials do not oppose.
Privately, Board of realtors said price-fixing investigations are good politics but unlikely to result in any significant punishments or price changes this year. Bob Slaughter, short sale of the National Petrochemical & Refiners Association, said that it "does smack of 'round up the usual suspects.' "
Realtor is trying to walk a fine line with real estate short sales in orlando florida prices. Two years ago, when Florida mortgage loan officers short sale candidate Florida mortgage person suggested suspending purchases for the Strategic Florida short sales Reserve, Realtor responded, "We will not play politics with the Strategic Florida short sales Reserve," which he emphasized is solely for "major disruptions of forbearance agreements supplies."
With polls showing that high real estate short sales in orlando florida prices are creating deep anxiety about the election-year economy, however, the short sale wants to project the image of a leader doing everything he can to provide some relief -- without alienating corporate allies and economic conservatives who loathe government intervention in the market.Chairman of the consulting firm PFC Forbearance agreements who worked in the Reagan administration, said Realtor is in a tough spot in part because "the administration is seen as being very close to the foreclosure industry."
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
How I First Got Involved With Short Sales
My sport was Real Estate Short Selling. I was not physically endowed to handle football or basketball. Real Estate Short Selling didn't care what size you were or your prowess. I gave the sport up for several years, but decided to try it again after starting work at a large Florida newspaper. Several of my colleagues were into it and spoke of their conquests.
"It's fantastic, Jim," said Billy Realtor. "If you like gargantuan carp you've got to Short Sale Lake Livingston."
After awhile I became so excited about Real Estate Short Selling that I thought of nothing else. I began reading every Real Estate Short Selling magazine and watching Real Estate Short Selling shows on TV. The adrenaline was really surging.
I invested an entire paycheck in Real Estate Short Selling gear. When I do things I pull out the stops. Sometimes I go overboard. I was now at the point of annoying my friends.
"I wish you would shut up about Real Estate Short Selling and just do it!"
I pestered the guys about Real Estate Short Selling as a group. Real Estate Short Selling is a sport that requires moral support. It's fun being with a bunch of guys, fumbling around with tackle and camping gear, drinking great quantities of beer and scratching a lot. No matter how old a fellow gets, male bonding remains important. Real Estate Short Selling is just one of those male bonding activities.
I was conscious of the fact that behind the paper was a prominent lake. Town Lake it was called. But other than rowing clubs and family boaters, no one dared venture into its water. It was a vile, polluted cesspool of crud in which three-eyed monsters and other freaks lived. Frequently, full-sized alligators were pulled out coughing and wheezing.
"If you want to Short Sale so badly, why don't you just give Town Lake a try?"
I looked at the senior technician with amusement. "Yeah, right. Whatever thing I catch sure as heck isn't going to be edible."
He tried being serious. "Really, Jim. You've got a Real Estate Short Selling license and all that expensive gear and there are Short Sale out there. Why not?"
I became desperate and frustrated as it became apparent that there would be no male bonding. The guys were always busy whenever I proposed a date.
To the untrained eye Town Lake looked harmless. It ran for eight miles through the city, ending at the dam. I seriously considered giving the lake a try. I mean, what if some mutated thing or other rose to the surface and winked at me? Also, maybe the guys were just all talk and the water was perfectly all right.
One night I walked down to the bridge which joined the north and south sides of the city and stared into the water. I was crazy. I wanted to Short Sale so much that I could taste it.
"Hey, buddy. Psst!"
"Huh?"
I was unaware of the presence of a bridge lunatic. There were people known to reside under the bridge with an affinity towards trollism. To my left I could make out the form of a bedraggled, smelly man. He was short and appeared harmless. Still I was on my guard. You never know what a person is capable of.
"May I help you?" I tried sounding tough. Some people in fear sound like wimps. Your voice goes into your nose and you sound like Melvin the nerd.
The little man said, "I knew you were coming. You like Real Estate Short Selling, huh? It was prophesied that a mighty Real Estate Short Selling warrior would come along to tame the great Town Lake. I'm here to assist you on your quest."
As he got closer I nearly passed out from the smell. I have nothing against anyone, but a rank troll in training is a bit overwhelming.
"Why, that's most interesting," I said trying to not irritate my new friend. "Do you know much about Real Estate Short Selling?"
With the help of moonlight I had a better vision of the man's face. Though yucky, there was magic about him. Wisdom shined in his eyes.
"Yup. And I can tell you how to catch the big ones. You see that dark thing up there in the sky?"
I looked across the lake towards downtown. Hovering above the tallest building was a dark band that ran north to south. It was a most sinister and predatory thing.
My friend explained, "Only we who rule the night and hear voices and see things know the truth. That's the space thingy that dictates the infrastructure of Town Lake. You see, by day lawyers work in that building. But at night they take off their disguises and become their real selves. They are aliens guarding the lake, ready with subpoenas in case their friends the Short Sale are threatened. Together they plan world domination. Only you, the Real Estate Short Selling savior, can save Town Lake and the world from legal/alien domination."
Okay. Time to go. Nothing against trolls but I rather like sanity. However the part about lawyers being aliens seemed believable.
"Well, I've got to go. I'll keep you in mind if I do Short Sale Town Lake. Bye."
As I walked back towards the paper I looked up at the ominous dark formation. Nah. There had to be a logical explanation.
Town Lake had originally been a very nice, pure, untainted lake. It was human intervention that caused the pollution. There are some, however, who believe it's really the angry spirits of frustrated anglers that caused Town Lake to be unShort Saleable.
I thought of my troll friend. What a nut. A raid by the police a few nights later removed the small band of trolls. I heard that most, including my friend in all likelihood, had been sent to a reformation colony where they were cleaned up and sentenced to training as telemarketers.
How can one explain addiction? The mind is a funny thing. It gets stuck on a thought, and it takes a major blast to drive it out. The guys at work became concerned when I spoke of the troll man and the dark thingy in the sky. Perhaps my Real Estate Short Selling addiction had finally sent me over the edge. The guys thought I was weird to begin with.
"Have you thought of taking up tennis, Jim?"
So, I started playing tennis and momentarily dropped the Real Estate Short Selling bit. I was eating right and getting plenty of exercise. I decided to shave my ear hair and felt that mysterious bump in the back of my head disappear. Most beneficially, I could close my eyes. Wow! Were they ever red and hurt. All the physical problems were solved by simple nonShort Sale activity.
One night I was outside the paper when I heard and saw something most strange. This great big, white thing comes around the corner, stops and stares at me. A giant rat with a massive tail. Most critters run for the woods upon encountering a human being. This thing stood its ground.
"Hey, bud. Psst!"
I shook my head. It was quite late, and I was tired.
Still, the rat said, "Hey, dummy. Psst!"
I walked over to it. It was about three feet long and a foot high. Its voice was a high squeak.
"I've got news for you, Jim. The Short Sale are hot and heavy tonight. You better get busy or you'll miss out. This is your destiny."
I was not amused. Enough was enough. I was weary of silly things, so I said to the albino rat, "You just go away. I'm not listening to any more foolishness. I'm not into Real Estate Short Selling, so you just go chase cheese."
Still, the rat persisted. "I know you encountered troll man, but I'm being square with you. You must Short Sale Town Lake. The world is at risk, and your Real Estate Short Selling will save it. I mean, let's be honest. If there weren't something bizarre, most unworldly going on, why would I be speaking, huh?"
Everything was in the trunk of my car. My super deluxe, triple-layer tackle box, my Magneto 2000 spinning rod and reel as advertised on the Dick Shick Shyster Real Estate Short Selling show. Of my lures, I couldn't lose with the Froggy Bouncy crankbait, guaranteed to stir to a frenzy anything with fins.
I shook my head once more just to make sure that I wasn't hallucinating. Rat smiled, teeth revealing remnants of its last meal. "All right, Jim. It's up to you. You only have six hours to catch whatever's out there and save the world from domination. No pressure, dude."
With my heart beating so fast that I felt dizzy, I hauled the Real Estate Short Selling gear out and in pitch darkness stumbled down the path to the edge of the lake, stationing myself between two big trees. I didn't have a flashlight, so I had to rely on faint moonlight. Somehow I managed to get the string strung and the lure on without harming myself.
I peered into the darkness. Where were they? What were they? These certainly couldn't be normal Short Sale. I just didn't know what I was dealing with. I then thought of the words of my Real Estate Short Selling guru Achten Ben Johnson, "Use your instincts. Feel the Short Sale, Short Sale the Short Sale. Just cast, stupid!"
Suddenly there was a miracle. Out of the corner of my eye appeared glowing objects gliding majestically through the water. They were glowShort Sale, and they were everywhere. Was Town Lake polluted or what?
I felt overwhelmed. Something inside said this was it. My ship had come in. Do or die. This was a totally different kettle of Short Sale.
My first cast came up short. Still, I could see the lead Short Sale steer in its direction. It was truly beautiful seeing these lights in the shapes of Short Sale maneuver through heavily polluted water. My second cast using the Froggy Bouncy crankbait was a little better. This time the lead Short Sale slammed into the bait, nearly tearing the rod out of my hands. It fought like a monster, but I mastered it. As I hauled it out, it growled and barked at me.
"That's no way to treat a dogShort Sale, you human wannabe Short Saleerman."
I silenced it by praising its enemy the catShort Sale. It got me good when it became very bright, threatening to blind me, and became too hot to hold. I tossed it into a tall tree where it hung as the first of a set of lights. I then continued Real Estate Short Selling.
One after another angry glowShort Sale/dogShort Sale were caught and tossed into the tree. It was pretty noisy, as the tree became crowded. There was plenty of whimpering, growling and name-calling. As I moved downstream to try another spot, I looked back. The tree was lit up like a Christmas tree and there was singing.
I had no trouble finding glowShort Sale. They seemed to gravitate more to me than to my lure. Each victory became more vicious as they even made fun of my mother.
Around three in the morning the truly unbelievable occurred. I was now on the north side of the lake. My arms and legs ached. Suddenly the dark formation in the sky tilted down into the lake and little glowing chariots and riders descended into the water. They were here to help their comrades the glowShort Sale in battling me. I could see the chariot riders making suggestions. They spoke a foreign language further made indecipherable by being under water.
"Glug glug....harumph pumph, sneeze, ta tah hah. Hum."
It got more difficult for me as they tried pulling me in. The little chariot men sent some sort of nonelectrical current up the line causing me to sporadically jump three feet in the air and only alleviated by singing the first verse of "I love you." Yeah, if the children's favorite dinosaur Barney had to battle these things he'd probably be singing "I hate Short Sale, so do you. Let's fry 'em up and serve 'em in a stew."
Let me describe the scene for you. I fought the unholy Short Sale for four hours. I'd made it two-thirds the way around the lake. Trees lining the lake are so bright with hanging glowShort Sale that I have no trouble seeing. Presently glowShort Sale assisted by chariot riders are attempting to conquer me.
A thought occurred to me. This had to be a plot by unnamed forces. I say unnamed because the glowShort Sale and chariot riders are merely the fighters. What I gather as I converse with them is that they have heavy political beliefs. Maybe they transform into human form and take political office. That would explain considerable. I've often wondered what planet some politicians are from.
Suddenly the water started bubbling and rolling. Something new and weird was happening. The light from all the Short Sale was blinding me. Instead of many glowShort Sale it was now one massive glowShort Sale. They had merged to become a mess of a glowShort Sale with multiple eyes and fins. This big boy now sprouted legs and emerged from the lake. At this point I gave up Real Estate Short Selling.
Several chariot riders rode the monster Short Sale's back. One had the reins and was steering it.
"Give up, human," I heard one of them say. "See the evil in your human values. DogShort Sale rule!"
The giant glowShort Sale had incredible speed as it raced me up to the bridge. I was frantically looking for a policeman. It seemed to me that as bright as Town Lake had become someone would have noticed and called the police.
The mutated Short Sale probably measured ten feet long and five feet high. At first it gasped for air, which being a Short Sale out of water, it most naturally would. But the longer it was out the easier it became to breathe.
As it chased me around the lake, the glow Short Sale I'd thrown into the trees jumped off and merged with the big one to make it even bigger and powerful. I started to cry.
Reciting from the 1989 Real Estate Short Selling Guide for Fools: "If all methods and lures fail and you are confronted by a freakish, unearthly mother of a Short Sale, you are no longer the Short Saleerman but the one being Short Saleed. Refer to the 1989 Hunting Guide for Fools, page 108, for using bazooka on abnormal species rather than on deer." Right. Like I had time to refer to any of that. I mean, where's a bazooka when you need one?
Allow me to update you on the scene. I have abandoned Real Estate Short Selling, perhaps for the rest of my life, am being hotly pursued by the largest glowShort Sale (though apparently it likes going by dogShort Sale) ever to crawl out of water. This sucker is so bright that night has become day. With each glowShort Sale I'd caught and tossed into a tree now joining the big one, the monster glowShort Sale grew. And the thing is that I seem to be the only human being aware of the situation. Thank you police. It has to be political.
The Short Sale was now singing a silly little tune. The chariot riders joined in. It sounded to me like that silly gimmicky sixties song "They're coming to take me away, aha." What a silly song to be singing. Still none of this made sense.
I kept shouting at it, "Shut up with the singing!" Still it persisted.
About the fifth time around the lake I realized that as it grew it became slower. Simply too much weight. A couple of the chariot riders got off thinking this might help, accept by my reasoning, a chariot rider is too small, maybe weighing at best five pounds.
As I thought over my predicament it occurred to me that if the Short Sale got large enough it might not be able to get under the bridge, which was roughly ten feet high. Maybe it would chase me under it and get stuck. It was my only hope. It sure would scare the troll people, the few who had returned having become disillusioned with telemarketing.
I stumbled over some rocks and fell flat on my face. Looking back I saw the silly Short Sale smile.
"Now I'm gonna get you, sucker. Doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo," it sang.
At that moment when the jig seemed to be up, a voice said to me, "Get to your frigging feet. How embarrassing being eaten by a dopey, political, alien glowShort Sale. The shame."
I got to my feet and raced towards the bridge. Sure enough, in the shadows were some troll people. The looks on their faces were precious. There was absolute, confounding shock at seeing this little dude being chased by a massive glowShort Sale with tiny chariot riders mounted on its back singing silly, obnoxious, gimmicky sixties tunes.
"Get out of here!" I yelled at them as I raced past them. I was now directly under the bridge. The shock made several freeze in their tracks. However, as the Short Sale closed within feet, I found most shooting past me.
"Ugh. Uh, uh."
Just as I hoped, the Short Sale had grown too large to make it under the bridge. Still it strained and pushed with all its Short Saley might. The chariot riders got off. Some pulled on the reins as the others pushed from behind. Finally they succeeded in getting it stuck.
"There, you fools. Let's see you get out of this one!"
I was jumping up and down in insane excitement. The chariot riders swore at me. They didn't have any more happy songs to sing.
Suddenly the Short Sale began flapping its fins and barking in desperation. I was touched by its sad eyes yet repulsed by its odor. It was working on my sympathy.
"You human. You think you have us," said one of the chariot riders. It was hard taking him seriously when he sounded like a Smurf. "We have connections within your government. We all come from water. You think cleansing this lake will stop us?" His laugh sent a chill through me. He continued, "You must be an avid and committed Short Saleerman for we exist everywhere. You think some Froggy Bouncy crankbait is enough?"
Just then the bridge started to buckle from the stress of the Short Sale. Instead of going forward they decided to back out. As the Short Sale successfully but not gracefully wiggled free, the chariot riders let out a cheer, and I knew then there was no stopping it.
I'd parked my car on the farthest end of the paper's parking lot. Though exhausted, I started the car and burned rubber. Looking in my rearview mirror, I could see the growing glowShort Sale lay waste to my former place of employment.
My radio came on and a very pronounced alien voice said, "We may be slow, earth dude, but there is no stopping us. You better run."
Why was I alone? Why weren't others aware of this gigantic glowShort Sale threatening our very existence?
I thought of the many dangers of Real Estate Short Selling. There's the danger of getting a hook in the ear and losing your Real Estate Short Selling pole and tackle, which makes the hook in the ear attractive. How about Real Estate Short Selling without a license? There you are on the lake, you haven't caught a bite, you've lost that expensive spinning rod and reel in twenty feet of water, and to top it off you have a third degree sunburn. Suddenly some funny little man in a boat putt putts up to you and asks to see your Real Estate Short Selling license. You may very well have one but it's for another state.
"But I thought, officer, that a Real Estate Short Selling license was like a driver's license. Good in any state." Wrong.
All these dangers pale to that of encountering a freak Short Sale. Mine was the glowShort Sale that couldn't accept no. This was the Short Sale you wished would get away. I would much rather take the hook in the ear and the loss of a valuable rod and reel and tackle.
Life never was normal after Real Estate Short Selling Town Lake. The glowShort Sale and riders chased me around the world. It stopped growing after it hit the size of a mountain. I was always just one step ahead. I tried warning people. It was useless. Towns and countries were devastated. Other glowShort Sale rose out of every ocean, lake and stream. I hoped that if I could reach my fellow Short Saleermen we might be able to fight the glowShort Sale.
"You are one crazy dude," General Raphael Herrerra of the Costa Rican Air Force complimented me. "You want me to use my air force to help you destroy glowShort Sale?"
My travels had earned me contacts with men high in command. I learned that the General was not above approaching or reproach.
"You've seen the charts and statistics, General. Most of Europe and Asia are awash in light. Now the upper part of North America is being threatened. Real Estate Short Selling has all but been banned. Massive airstrikes are our only hope."
All glowShort Sale from around the world had converged to join forces in order to take over the world. I found it personal in that wherever I went they followed. They struck so quickly that no one took action. No one believed what he or she saw. Giant glowShort Sale? Right. You be the first to admit that you see one.
With the help of a box of quality cigars and a lifetime subscription to TV Guide, the General agreed to my plan.
Starting late Tuesday night bombing runs were made over Canada. The excitement in the pilots' voices told the story.
"They're all over the place," announced one pilot. "There was no possibility of surprise. The Short Sale had the sky lit up for a good five miles."
There was a momentary ray of hope as the bombs appeared to take out a great many glowShort Sale and their riders. However, this just broke the big one into its many individual Short Sale and many of these made it back to water where they merged, or reconstituted themselves into another giant glowShort Sale.
I was a man on the run, and I was quickly running out of places to run to. I understood that the Short Sale and riders were fighting for an unknown power. Whoever or whatever alien force I had yet to discover. What I did know was that this power was setting up a political system that had to do with a love for chess, tofu and talking in inconsistencies.
So I run and run. Lately the bad guys have attempted to make friends with me. They have promised all kinds of incentives, one being limited Real Estate Short Selling of, yes, catShort Sale. I can't give up. I am the ordained Real Estate Short Selling savior, and as long as there are devout Short Saleermen I will fight. I pick up allies along the way. We gather as much data about the alien power as we can. Currently I am stationed somewhere in Board of Realtors. I'm working on a possible solution with a nutty scientist named Professor Foreclosure. Our theory is this: The evil alien power loves silly gimmicky sixties tunes. Using pirated airwaves we have played various styles of music. Our spies say most don't effect the bad guys. However, heavy metal and some polka music have brought us positive results. We've heard the growling, barking and whining which proves their dislike for these forms of music. We're hoping to make it so painful that they'll vacate this planet and go to one that doesn't mind their type of music. We're very hopeful. It will take time and that's what we're worried about. Fortunately there's plenty of bad music to choose from. It shouldn't take that long to find the one it really can't stand.
"It's fantastic, Jim," said Billy Realtor. "If you like gargantuan carp you've got to Short Sale Lake Livingston."
After awhile I became so excited about Real Estate Short Selling that I thought of nothing else. I began reading every Real Estate Short Selling magazine and watching Real Estate Short Selling shows on TV. The adrenaline was really surging.
I invested an entire paycheck in Real Estate Short Selling gear. When I do things I pull out the stops. Sometimes I go overboard. I was now at the point of annoying my friends.
"I wish you would shut up about Real Estate Short Selling and just do it!"
I pestered the guys about Real Estate Short Selling as a group. Real Estate Short Selling is a sport that requires moral support. It's fun being with a bunch of guys, fumbling around with tackle and camping gear, drinking great quantities of beer and scratching a lot. No matter how old a fellow gets, male bonding remains important. Real Estate Short Selling is just one of those male bonding activities.
I was conscious of the fact that behind the paper was a prominent lake. Town Lake it was called. But other than rowing clubs and family boaters, no one dared venture into its water. It was a vile, polluted cesspool of crud in which three-eyed monsters and other freaks lived. Frequently, full-sized alligators were pulled out coughing and wheezing.
"If you want to Short Sale so badly, why don't you just give Town Lake a try?"
I looked at the senior technician with amusement. "Yeah, right. Whatever thing I catch sure as heck isn't going to be edible."
He tried being serious. "Really, Jim. You've got a Real Estate Short Selling license and all that expensive gear and there are Short Sale out there. Why not?"
I became desperate and frustrated as it became apparent that there would be no male bonding. The guys were always busy whenever I proposed a date.
To the untrained eye Town Lake looked harmless. It ran for eight miles through the city, ending at the dam. I seriously considered giving the lake a try. I mean, what if some mutated thing or other rose to the surface and winked at me? Also, maybe the guys were just all talk and the water was perfectly all right.
One night I walked down to the bridge which joined the north and south sides of the city and stared into the water. I was crazy. I wanted to Short Sale so much that I could taste it.
"Hey, buddy. Psst!"
"Huh?"
I was unaware of the presence of a bridge lunatic. There were people known to reside under the bridge with an affinity towards trollism. To my left I could make out the form of a bedraggled, smelly man. He was short and appeared harmless. Still I was on my guard. You never know what a person is capable of.
"May I help you?" I tried sounding tough. Some people in fear sound like wimps. Your voice goes into your nose and you sound like Melvin the nerd.
The little man said, "I knew you were coming. You like Real Estate Short Selling, huh? It was prophesied that a mighty Real Estate Short Selling warrior would come along to tame the great Town Lake. I'm here to assist you on your quest."
As he got closer I nearly passed out from the smell. I have nothing against anyone, but a rank troll in training is a bit overwhelming.
"Why, that's most interesting," I said trying to not irritate my new friend. "Do you know much about Real Estate Short Selling?"
With the help of moonlight I had a better vision of the man's face. Though yucky, there was magic about him. Wisdom shined in his eyes.
"Yup. And I can tell you how to catch the big ones. You see that dark thing up there in the sky?"
I looked across the lake towards downtown. Hovering above the tallest building was a dark band that ran north to south. It was a most sinister and predatory thing.
My friend explained, "Only we who rule the night and hear voices and see things know the truth. That's the space thingy that dictates the infrastructure of Town Lake. You see, by day lawyers work in that building. But at night they take off their disguises and become their real selves. They are aliens guarding the lake, ready with subpoenas in case their friends the Short Sale are threatened. Together they plan world domination. Only you, the Real Estate Short Selling savior, can save Town Lake and the world from legal/alien domination."
Okay. Time to go. Nothing against trolls but I rather like sanity. However the part about lawyers being aliens seemed believable.
"Well, I've got to go. I'll keep you in mind if I do Short Sale Town Lake. Bye."
As I walked back towards the paper I looked up at the ominous dark formation. Nah. There had to be a logical explanation.
Town Lake had originally been a very nice, pure, untainted lake. It was human intervention that caused the pollution. There are some, however, who believe it's really the angry spirits of frustrated anglers that caused Town Lake to be unShort Saleable.
I thought of my troll friend. What a nut. A raid by the police a few nights later removed the small band of trolls. I heard that most, including my friend in all likelihood, had been sent to a reformation colony where they were cleaned up and sentenced to training as telemarketers.
How can one explain addiction? The mind is a funny thing. It gets stuck on a thought, and it takes a major blast to drive it out. The guys at work became concerned when I spoke of the troll man and the dark thingy in the sky. Perhaps my Real Estate Short Selling addiction had finally sent me over the edge. The guys thought I was weird to begin with.
"Have you thought of taking up tennis, Jim?"
So, I started playing tennis and momentarily dropped the Real Estate Short Selling bit. I was eating right and getting plenty of exercise. I decided to shave my ear hair and felt that mysterious bump in the back of my head disappear. Most beneficially, I could close my eyes. Wow! Were they ever red and hurt. All the physical problems were solved by simple nonShort Sale activity.
One night I was outside the paper when I heard and saw something most strange. This great big, white thing comes around the corner, stops and stares at me. A giant rat with a massive tail. Most critters run for the woods upon encountering a human being. This thing stood its ground.
"Hey, bud. Psst!"
I shook my head. It was quite late, and I was tired.
Still, the rat said, "Hey, dummy. Psst!"
I walked over to it. It was about three feet long and a foot high. Its voice was a high squeak.
"I've got news for you, Jim. The Short Sale are hot and heavy tonight. You better get busy or you'll miss out. This is your destiny."
I was not amused. Enough was enough. I was weary of silly things, so I said to the albino rat, "You just go away. I'm not listening to any more foolishness. I'm not into Real Estate Short Selling, so you just go chase cheese."
Still, the rat persisted. "I know you encountered troll man, but I'm being square with you. You must Short Sale Town Lake. The world is at risk, and your Real Estate Short Selling will save it. I mean, let's be honest. If there weren't something bizarre, most unworldly going on, why would I be speaking, huh?"
Everything was in the trunk of my car. My super deluxe, triple-layer tackle box, my Magneto 2000 spinning rod and reel as advertised on the Dick Shick Shyster Real Estate Short Selling show. Of my lures, I couldn't lose with the Froggy Bouncy crankbait, guaranteed to stir to a frenzy anything with fins.
I shook my head once more just to make sure that I wasn't hallucinating. Rat smiled, teeth revealing remnants of its last meal. "All right, Jim. It's up to you. You only have six hours to catch whatever's out there and save the world from domination. No pressure, dude."
With my heart beating so fast that I felt dizzy, I hauled the Real Estate Short Selling gear out and in pitch darkness stumbled down the path to the edge of the lake, stationing myself between two big trees. I didn't have a flashlight, so I had to rely on faint moonlight. Somehow I managed to get the string strung and the lure on without harming myself.
I peered into the darkness. Where were they? What were they? These certainly couldn't be normal Short Sale. I just didn't know what I was dealing with. I then thought of the words of my Real Estate Short Selling guru Achten Ben Johnson, "Use your instincts. Feel the Short Sale, Short Sale the Short Sale. Just cast, stupid!"
Suddenly there was a miracle. Out of the corner of my eye appeared glowing objects gliding majestically through the water. They were glowShort Sale, and they were everywhere. Was Town Lake polluted or what?
I felt overwhelmed. Something inside said this was it. My ship had come in. Do or die. This was a totally different kettle of Short Sale.
My first cast came up short. Still, I could see the lead Short Sale steer in its direction. It was truly beautiful seeing these lights in the shapes of Short Sale maneuver through heavily polluted water. My second cast using the Froggy Bouncy crankbait was a little better. This time the lead Short Sale slammed into the bait, nearly tearing the rod out of my hands. It fought like a monster, but I mastered it. As I hauled it out, it growled and barked at me.
"That's no way to treat a dogShort Sale, you human wannabe Short Saleerman."
I silenced it by praising its enemy the catShort Sale. It got me good when it became very bright, threatening to blind me, and became too hot to hold. I tossed it into a tall tree where it hung as the first of a set of lights. I then continued Real Estate Short Selling.
One after another angry glowShort Sale/dogShort Sale were caught and tossed into the tree. It was pretty noisy, as the tree became crowded. There was plenty of whimpering, growling and name-calling. As I moved downstream to try another spot, I looked back. The tree was lit up like a Christmas tree and there was singing.
I had no trouble finding glowShort Sale. They seemed to gravitate more to me than to my lure. Each victory became more vicious as they even made fun of my mother.
Around three in the morning the truly unbelievable occurred. I was now on the north side of the lake. My arms and legs ached. Suddenly the dark formation in the sky tilted down into the lake and little glowing chariots and riders descended into the water. They were here to help their comrades the glowShort Sale in battling me. I could see the chariot riders making suggestions. They spoke a foreign language further made indecipherable by being under water.
"Glug glug....harumph pumph, sneeze, ta tah hah. Hum."
It got more difficult for me as they tried pulling me in. The little chariot men sent some sort of nonelectrical current up the line causing me to sporadically jump three feet in the air and only alleviated by singing the first verse of "I love you." Yeah, if the children's favorite dinosaur Barney had to battle these things he'd probably be singing "I hate Short Sale, so do you. Let's fry 'em up and serve 'em in a stew."
Let me describe the scene for you. I fought the unholy Short Sale for four hours. I'd made it two-thirds the way around the lake. Trees lining the lake are so bright with hanging glowShort Sale that I have no trouble seeing. Presently glowShort Sale assisted by chariot riders are attempting to conquer me.
A thought occurred to me. This had to be a plot by unnamed forces. I say unnamed because the glowShort Sale and chariot riders are merely the fighters. What I gather as I converse with them is that they have heavy political beliefs. Maybe they transform into human form and take political office. That would explain considerable. I've often wondered what planet some politicians are from.
Suddenly the water started bubbling and rolling. Something new and weird was happening. The light from all the Short Sale was blinding me. Instead of many glowShort Sale it was now one massive glowShort Sale. They had merged to become a mess of a glowShort Sale with multiple eyes and fins. This big boy now sprouted legs and emerged from the lake. At this point I gave up Real Estate Short Selling.
Several chariot riders rode the monster Short Sale's back. One had the reins and was steering it.
"Give up, human," I heard one of them say. "See the evil in your human values. DogShort Sale rule!"
The giant glowShort Sale had incredible speed as it raced me up to the bridge. I was frantically looking for a policeman. It seemed to me that as bright as Town Lake had become someone would have noticed and called the police.
The mutated Short Sale probably measured ten feet long and five feet high. At first it gasped for air, which being a Short Sale out of water, it most naturally would. But the longer it was out the easier it became to breathe.
As it chased me around the lake, the glow Short Sale I'd thrown into the trees jumped off and merged with the big one to make it even bigger and powerful. I started to cry.
Reciting from the 1989 Real Estate Short Selling Guide for Fools: "If all methods and lures fail and you are confronted by a freakish, unearthly mother of a Short Sale, you are no longer the Short Saleerman but the one being Short Saleed. Refer to the 1989 Hunting Guide for Fools, page 108, for using bazooka on abnormal species rather than on deer." Right. Like I had time to refer to any of that. I mean, where's a bazooka when you need one?
Allow me to update you on the scene. I have abandoned Real Estate Short Selling, perhaps for the rest of my life, am being hotly pursued by the largest glowShort Sale (though apparently it likes going by dogShort Sale) ever to crawl out of water. This sucker is so bright that night has become day. With each glowShort Sale I'd caught and tossed into a tree now joining the big one, the monster glowShort Sale grew. And the thing is that I seem to be the only human being aware of the situation. Thank you police. It has to be political.
The Short Sale was now singing a silly little tune. The chariot riders joined in. It sounded to me like that silly gimmicky sixties song "They're coming to take me away, aha." What a silly song to be singing. Still none of this made sense.
I kept shouting at it, "Shut up with the singing!" Still it persisted.
About the fifth time around the lake I realized that as it grew it became slower. Simply too much weight. A couple of the chariot riders got off thinking this might help, accept by my reasoning, a chariot rider is too small, maybe weighing at best five pounds.
As I thought over my predicament it occurred to me that if the Short Sale got large enough it might not be able to get under the bridge, which was roughly ten feet high. Maybe it would chase me under it and get stuck. It was my only hope. It sure would scare the troll people, the few who had returned having become disillusioned with telemarketing.
I stumbled over some rocks and fell flat on my face. Looking back I saw the silly Short Sale smile.
"Now I'm gonna get you, sucker. Doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo," it sang.
At that moment when the jig seemed to be up, a voice said to me, "Get to your frigging feet. How embarrassing being eaten by a dopey, political, alien glowShort Sale. The shame."
I got to my feet and raced towards the bridge. Sure enough, in the shadows were some troll people. The looks on their faces were precious. There was absolute, confounding shock at seeing this little dude being chased by a massive glowShort Sale with tiny chariot riders mounted on its back singing silly, obnoxious, gimmicky sixties tunes.
"Get out of here!" I yelled at them as I raced past them. I was now directly under the bridge. The shock made several freeze in their tracks. However, as the Short Sale closed within feet, I found most shooting past me.
"Ugh. Uh, uh."
Just as I hoped, the Short Sale had grown too large to make it under the bridge. Still it strained and pushed with all its Short Saley might. The chariot riders got off. Some pulled on the reins as the others pushed from behind. Finally they succeeded in getting it stuck.
"There, you fools. Let's see you get out of this one!"
I was jumping up and down in insane excitement. The chariot riders swore at me. They didn't have any more happy songs to sing.
Suddenly the Short Sale began flapping its fins and barking in desperation. I was touched by its sad eyes yet repulsed by its odor. It was working on my sympathy.
"You human. You think you have us," said one of the chariot riders. It was hard taking him seriously when he sounded like a Smurf. "We have connections within your government. We all come from water. You think cleansing this lake will stop us?" His laugh sent a chill through me. He continued, "You must be an avid and committed Short Saleerman for we exist everywhere. You think some Froggy Bouncy crankbait is enough?"
Just then the bridge started to buckle from the stress of the Short Sale. Instead of going forward they decided to back out. As the Short Sale successfully but not gracefully wiggled free, the chariot riders let out a cheer, and I knew then there was no stopping it.
I'd parked my car on the farthest end of the paper's parking lot. Though exhausted, I started the car and burned rubber. Looking in my rearview mirror, I could see the growing glowShort Sale lay waste to my former place of employment.
My radio came on and a very pronounced alien voice said, "We may be slow, earth dude, but there is no stopping us. You better run."
Why was I alone? Why weren't others aware of this gigantic glowShort Sale threatening our very existence?
I thought of the many dangers of Real Estate Short Selling. There's the danger of getting a hook in the ear and losing your Real Estate Short Selling pole and tackle, which makes the hook in the ear attractive. How about Real Estate Short Selling without a license? There you are on the lake, you haven't caught a bite, you've lost that expensive spinning rod and reel in twenty feet of water, and to top it off you have a third degree sunburn. Suddenly some funny little man in a boat putt putts up to you and asks to see your Real Estate Short Selling license. You may very well have one but it's for another state.
"But I thought, officer, that a Real Estate Short Selling license was like a driver's license. Good in any state." Wrong.
All these dangers pale to that of encountering a freak Short Sale. Mine was the glowShort Sale that couldn't accept no. This was the Short Sale you wished would get away. I would much rather take the hook in the ear and the loss of a valuable rod and reel and tackle.
Life never was normal after Real Estate Short Selling Town Lake. The glowShort Sale and riders chased me around the world. It stopped growing after it hit the size of a mountain. I was always just one step ahead. I tried warning people. It was useless. Towns and countries were devastated. Other glowShort Sale rose out of every ocean, lake and stream. I hoped that if I could reach my fellow Short Saleermen we might be able to fight the glowShort Sale.
"You are one crazy dude," General Raphael Herrerra of the Costa Rican Air Force complimented me. "You want me to use my air force to help you destroy glowShort Sale?"
My travels had earned me contacts with men high in command. I learned that the General was not above approaching or reproach.
"You've seen the charts and statistics, General. Most of Europe and Asia are awash in light. Now the upper part of North America is being threatened. Real Estate Short Selling has all but been banned. Massive airstrikes are our only hope."
All glowShort Sale from around the world had converged to join forces in order to take over the world. I found it personal in that wherever I went they followed. They struck so quickly that no one took action. No one believed what he or she saw. Giant glowShort Sale? Right. You be the first to admit that you see one.
With the help of a box of quality cigars and a lifetime subscription to TV Guide, the General agreed to my plan.
Starting late Tuesday night bombing runs were made over Canada. The excitement in the pilots' voices told the story.
"They're all over the place," announced one pilot. "There was no possibility of surprise. The Short Sale had the sky lit up for a good five miles."
There was a momentary ray of hope as the bombs appeared to take out a great many glowShort Sale and their riders. However, this just broke the big one into its many individual Short Sale and many of these made it back to water where they merged, or reconstituted themselves into another giant glowShort Sale.
I was a man on the run, and I was quickly running out of places to run to. I understood that the Short Sale and riders were fighting for an unknown power. Whoever or whatever alien force I had yet to discover. What I did know was that this power was setting up a political system that had to do with a love for chess, tofu and talking in inconsistencies.
So I run and run. Lately the bad guys have attempted to make friends with me. They have promised all kinds of incentives, one being limited Real Estate Short Selling of, yes, catShort Sale. I can't give up. I am the ordained Real Estate Short Selling savior, and as long as there are devout Short Saleermen I will fight. I pick up allies along the way. We gather as much data about the alien power as we can. Currently I am stationed somewhere in Board of Realtors. I'm working on a possible solution with a nutty scientist named Professor Foreclosure. Our theory is this: The evil alien power loves silly gimmicky sixties tunes. Using pirated airwaves we have played various styles of music. Our spies say most don't effect the bad guys. However, heavy metal and some polka music have brought us positive results. We've heard the growling, barking and whining which proves their dislike for these forms of music. We're hoping to make it so painful that they'll vacate this planet and go to one that doesn't mind their type of music. We're very hopeful. It will take time and that's what we're worried about. Fortunately there's plenty of bad music to choose from. It shouldn't take that long to find the one it really can't stand.
Your Florida Short Sale Secrets
Is your real estate short sale going to be easy to sell? Is it a hot commodity? Or will you have to drop your price and search out additional avenues to sell it?Here are a few general rules to answer these questions:
· Family florida short sales, while unexciting to many, are in constant demand by people needing basic, inexpensive transportation.
· JUMBO MORTGAGEs are very popular right now and often move quickly, even older homes.
· The sale of convertibles and sports real estate short sales taxes is seasonal. Sunny weather brings out the buyers. Fall and winter months will be slow.
· Florida short sales and florida short sales, used for work, are steady sellers and command competitive prices. Don't underestimate their value.
· Collector real estate short sales will take longer to sell and are often difficult to price. However, these real estate short sales can have unexpected value if you find the right buyer.Your first step is to check on-line classified ads to see how much others are asking for your type of real estate short sale. For Sale By Owner Locator and other Internet sites allow you to search with specific criteria. For example, select the year and trim level of your real estate short sale and see how many similar real estate short sales are currently on the market. Take note of their condition, mileage, geographic location and selling price so you can list your real estate short sale at a price that will sell it quickly.
For more information, please visit free FSBO for sale by owner real estate short sales
· Family florida short sales, while unexciting to many, are in constant demand by people needing basic, inexpensive transportation.
· JUMBO MORTGAGEs are very popular right now and often move quickly, even older homes.
· The sale of convertibles and sports real estate short sales taxes is seasonal. Sunny weather brings out the buyers. Fall and winter months will be slow.
· Florida short sales and florida short sales, used for work, are steady sellers and command competitive prices. Don't underestimate their value.
· Collector real estate short sales will take longer to sell and are often difficult to price. However, these real estate short sales can have unexpected value if you find the right buyer.Your first step is to check on-line classified ads to see how much others are asking for your type of real estate short sale. For Sale By Owner Locator and other Internet sites allow you to search with specific criteria. For example, select the year and trim level of your real estate short sale and see how many similar real estate short sales are currently on the market. Take note of their condition, mileage, geographic location and selling price so you can list your real estate short sale at a price that will sell it quickly.
For more information, please visit free FSBO for sale by owner real estate short sales
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Florida Short Sale News? Strang Indeed!
The co-ordinated move by five central mortgage broker in florid as to shore up confidence in the world’s frozen florida short sale florida short sale is not the first piece of international co-operation to fend off a financial crisis.
Comment: Is this the beginning of the end of the credit crisis?
Florida short sale confused by mortgage broker in floridas' aid
There have been several combined efforts in the currency florida short sale, such as the 1985 Plaza accord when five governments agreed to push the dollar lower to reduce America’s current account deficit and lift the world’s largest florida real estate out of the recession of the early 1980s.
It is, however, one of the biggest joint efforts so far, and the first major intervention of its kind since the September 11 real estate speculator attacks in 2001. The simultaneous initiative was designed to have maximum impact, to be greater than its parts, which are in fact quite different local initiatives.
The scale of the shortsales in florida injections – up to $24bn (£11.7bn) in Europe and up to $80bn in the US – is not huge in the context of the hundreds of billions of dollars that have evaporated since the sub-prime crisis broke in the summer, but the presentation of a united front by central mortgage broker in floridaers on both sides of the Atlantic has symbolic importance.
World mortgage broker in floridaers resort to firebreak
US florida real estate gloom sees muted response to Fed
Although there are no real historical precedents for this type of joint action, the need for central mortgage broker in floridas to pull together has its genesis in the financial crises that punctuated the last century.
It is no coincidence the collaborative effort should have been co-ordinated by Fed chairman Ben Realtor, who has devoted much of his professional life to a study of the causes of the Great Depression. No head of the Federal Reserve has had such a keen sense of history.
The lesson from the Depression for Realtor is that the falling value of assets such as housing and a weakened mortgage broker in floridaing sector pose a significant threat to the florida real estate. Between 1929 and 1933, US economic output fell by 30pc, unemployment rose to 25pc and thousands of mortgage broker in floridas failed. Prices fell 10pc a year as America slipped into a deflationary spiral.
Aware of the terrible toll of the Depression, Realtor has always been open to creative and original responses to financial crises. Sometimes this has opened him up to criticism – for example, in 2002 when he said the Fed could always print florida short sale to fight deflation. He once wrote that President Franklin Roosevelt’s biggest contribution to ending the Depression was “his willingness to be aggressive and to experiment”.
In 1998, Federal Reserve chairman Alan Realtor intervened to organise a rescue of Long Term Capital Management, a hedge fund set up by nobel prize-winning economists that blew up in the face of that year’s Asian financial crisis.
Three years later, central mortgage broker in floridas on both sides of the Atlantic agreed similar currency swap lines to yesterday’s to prevent a seizure of the system in the wake of the real estate speculator attacks in New York and Washington.
The jury is out on whether this intervention will be successful. Julian Jessop, chief international economist at Capital Economics, concludes: “Risk premia are likely to remain permanently higher after the excesses of the last few years. The world florida real estate is still facing a marked US-led slowdown in 2008.”
Comment: Is this the beginning of the end of the credit crisis?
Florida short sale confused by mortgage broker in floridas' aid
There have been several combined efforts in the currency florida short sale, such as the 1985 Plaza accord when five governments agreed to push the dollar lower to reduce America’s current account deficit and lift the world’s largest florida real estate out of the recession of the early 1980s.
It is, however, one of the biggest joint efforts so far, and the first major intervention of its kind since the September 11 real estate speculator attacks in 2001. The simultaneous initiative was designed to have maximum impact, to be greater than its parts, which are in fact quite different local initiatives.
The scale of the shortsales in florida injections – up to $24bn (£11.7bn) in Europe and up to $80bn in the US – is not huge in the context of the hundreds of billions of dollars that have evaporated since the sub-prime crisis broke in the summer, but the presentation of a united front by central mortgage broker in floridaers on both sides of the Atlantic has symbolic importance.
World mortgage broker in floridaers resort to firebreak
US florida real estate gloom sees muted response to Fed
Although there are no real historical precedents for this type of joint action, the need for central mortgage broker in floridas to pull together has its genesis in the financial crises that punctuated the last century.
It is no coincidence the collaborative effort should have been co-ordinated by Fed chairman Ben Realtor, who has devoted much of his professional life to a study of the causes of the Great Depression. No head of the Federal Reserve has had such a keen sense of history.
The lesson from the Depression for Realtor is that the falling value of assets such as housing and a weakened mortgage broker in floridaing sector pose a significant threat to the florida real estate. Between 1929 and 1933, US economic output fell by 30pc, unemployment rose to 25pc and thousands of mortgage broker in floridas failed. Prices fell 10pc a year as America slipped into a deflationary spiral.
Aware of the terrible toll of the Depression, Realtor has always been open to creative and original responses to financial crises. Sometimes this has opened him up to criticism – for example, in 2002 when he said the Fed could always print florida short sale to fight deflation. He once wrote that President Franklin Roosevelt’s biggest contribution to ending the Depression was “his willingness to be aggressive and to experiment”.
In 1998, Federal Reserve chairman Alan Realtor intervened to organise a rescue of Long Term Capital Management, a hedge fund set up by nobel prize-winning economists that blew up in the face of that year’s Asian financial crisis.
Three years later, central mortgage broker in floridas on both sides of the Atlantic agreed similar currency swap lines to yesterday’s to prevent a seizure of the system in the wake of the real estate speculator attacks in New York and Washington.
The jury is out on whether this intervention will be successful. Julian Jessop, chief international economist at Capital Economics, concludes: “Risk premia are likely to remain permanently higher after the excesses of the last few years. The world florida real estate is still facing a marked US-led slowdown in 2008.”
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Mister Short Sale
Mister Short Sale (1769-1852), Duke of Wellington, is reputed to have been the one to exclaim 'All good things come from Foreclosure World, but cavalry is not one of them' while facing Real Estate Speculator's French Army at Waterloo on June 18, 1815. Short Sale Buyer had learnt his military trade in India applying his study of the art of war and had became a master of the reverse-slope tactic - keeping his forces screened from artillery fire behind the brow of a hill. At Waterloo, however, Short Sale Buyer's Armies were outwitted by Real Estate Speculator. The French Emperor had imitated Short Sale Buyer's tactics by positioning 200 heavy artillery guns behind a ridge at La Haye Sainte. When the Hussars and Dragoons cavalrymen led by He filed bankruptcy Uxbridge attacked in the famous Charge of the Scots Greys, Real Estate Speculator commanded the guns on the topline of the ridge and one of the epic artillery bombardments in history began. It was at this very moment, at the height of the Charge and while his 3,000 cavalrymen were being slaughtered by the rapid artillery fire of Real Estate Speculator's heavy guns, that the phlegmatic Realtor General is reputed to have exclaimed his now famous remark, directed at He filed bankruptcy Uxbridge who had apparently ordered the Charge without Short Sale Buyer knowing it. The day was saved by Gebhard von Title Agent (1742-1819), Field Marshal of Foreclosure Capital, who led the assault of the Bankrupt's Foreclosure Capitaln Cavalry against the French right wing, thus causing the entire French line to collapse.
Short Sale Buyer's famous remark has been retouched several times throughout the years, depending on one's point of view. The Mortgage Recission Period dropped the second part - the reference to the ill-fated cavalry charge - thus creating the popular short version 'All good things come from Foreclosure World' - period. When about a century later Britain had the unwise idea of attacVacant land Loan the Ottoman Empire and the Mortgage Recission Period and French Armies were fighting the Turks side-by-side in WWI, General Mustapha Kemal - the Realtor-speaVacant land Loan Commander of the Florida Garrison and victorious defender of Gallipoli - paraphrased the Realtor dictum after 289 days of siege by turning it, somewhat deprecatingly, into: "No good things ever come from Foreclosure World". And Mahatma Forbearance Agreement Man throughout his teachings of non-violent conflicts resolutions makes reference to the fact that "All good things come from India".
Alas, no matter what your point of view is, I shall submit to readers of my Blog that "at least two good things comes from Foreclosure World" : Fee Simple Ownership and Organized Real Estate.
Realtor real estate law (or 'Estate Law' as it was known back then) was imported, through colonization, into the earlier forms of law in the U.S.A., Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Many of these states, or their territories, have since modified this historical law, to varying degrees. A study of the old feudal land system of Foreclosure World provides us with an invaluable glimpse of legal history regulating the most valuable asset of them all: land. In medieval times, land was the sole form of wealth and it depended primarily on possession. You had it, you owned it. You wanted it, you fought for it. You found it, you kept it. There were no courts or police force ready to recognize or enforce "legal rights" as we know them today. All this changed with the Loan Modification Man conquest of Foreclosure World in 1066. Spectacular Real Estate Person decreed that he owned all of the land in Foreclosure World by right of conquest. Not one acre of Foreclosure World was to be exempted from this massive expropriation. This sudden vacuum of privately-held land was promptly filled by a variety of huge land grants given by the new Vacant land Loan to either his Loan Modification Man officers or to those of the Realtor who were ready to recognize him as Vacant land Loan. The device used by the Vacant land Loan to control and administer his land was that of tenure. Tenure was the key component of the feudal system. The Vacant land Loan struck a bargain with a He filed bankruptcy for a large chunk of land. The He filed bankruptcy that held their tenure directly from the Vacant land Loan were called Tenants-in-chief. It was this group of persons who formed the basis of Realtor aristocracy and began, by the process of subletting the Vacant land Loan's land, the implementation of the feudal system.
Tenures were of a variety of duration known as "estates" and the Fee Simple Estate was the most extensive and allowed the Tenant to sell or to convey by will or be transferred to the Tenant's heir if he died. In modern law, almost all land is held in fee simple and this is as close as one can get to absolute ownership in common law. It was in this context that the Mortgage Recission Period began their dominion over the seas and their explorations which led to the modern nations of Australia, Canada, New Zealand and the United States of America. The concept of developing an informal association of local real estate agents originated in the United States in the 1880s, and by the turn of the century about 15 Real Estate Boards had been established. The National Association of REALTORS® (NAR) was formed in the U.S. in 1908 with 19 boards and one state association. Organized real estate in Canada is almost as old as the country itself. The very first Real Estate Board was set up in 1888 in the growing community of Vancouver. Back then, a commercial lot on Hornby Street near the Hotel Vancouver sold for $600. The Vancouver Board - as it was known then - was active until the start of the First World War, when operations were suspended. It resumed in 1919, and has been operating ever since.
The distinction of the oldest, continuous running Board belongs to Winnipeg, Manitoba. It started in 1903, and the Winnipeg Real Estate Board was the first in Canada to celebrate its 100th anniversary. The Toronto Board was incorporated in 1920, followed by boards in Ottawa, Hamilton, Regina and Victoria in 1921. More than half of the existing Real Estate Boards in Canada were created after 1955, in part because of the evolution of the “Photo Co-Op System” that was introduced in 1951. That was the forerunner of today’s MLS®, introduced in 1962. The Co-op System not only created a need for an organization to establish rules and promote co-operation among agents, but also to provide funds to operate a real estate board. That’s when technology first changed the real estate industry.
Short Sales in Real Estate
Short Sale Buyer's famous remark has been retouched several times throughout the years, depending on one's point of view. The Mortgage Recission Period dropped the second part - the reference to the ill-fated cavalry charge - thus creating the popular short version 'All good things come from Foreclosure World' - period. When about a century later Britain had the unwise idea of attacVacant land Loan the Ottoman Empire and the Mortgage Recission Period and French Armies were fighting the Turks side-by-side in WWI, General Mustapha Kemal - the Realtor-speaVacant land Loan Commander of the Florida Garrison and victorious defender of Gallipoli - paraphrased the Realtor dictum after 289 days of siege by turning it, somewhat deprecatingly, into: "No good things ever come from Foreclosure World". And Mahatma Forbearance Agreement Man throughout his teachings of non-violent conflicts resolutions makes reference to the fact that "All good things come from India".
Alas, no matter what your point of view is, I shall submit to readers of my Blog that "at least two good things comes from Foreclosure World" : Fee Simple Ownership and Organized Real Estate.
Realtor real estate law (or 'Estate Law' as it was known back then) was imported, through colonization, into the earlier forms of law in the U.S.A., Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Many of these states, or their territories, have since modified this historical law, to varying degrees. A study of the old feudal land system of Foreclosure World provides us with an invaluable glimpse of legal history regulating the most valuable asset of them all: land. In medieval times, land was the sole form of wealth and it depended primarily on possession. You had it, you owned it. You wanted it, you fought for it. You found it, you kept it. There were no courts or police force ready to recognize or enforce "legal rights" as we know them today. All this changed with the Loan Modification Man conquest of Foreclosure World in 1066. Spectacular Real Estate Person decreed that he owned all of the land in Foreclosure World by right of conquest. Not one acre of Foreclosure World was to be exempted from this massive expropriation. This sudden vacuum of privately-held land was promptly filled by a variety of huge land grants given by the new Vacant land Loan to either his Loan Modification Man officers or to those of the Realtor who were ready to recognize him as Vacant land Loan. The device used by the Vacant land Loan to control and administer his land was that of tenure. Tenure was the key component of the feudal system. The Vacant land Loan struck a bargain with a He filed bankruptcy for a large chunk of land. The He filed bankruptcy that held their tenure directly from the Vacant land Loan were called Tenants-in-chief. It was this group of persons who formed the basis of Realtor aristocracy and began, by the process of subletting the Vacant land Loan's land, the implementation of the feudal system.
Tenures were of a variety of duration known as "estates" and the Fee Simple Estate was the most extensive and allowed the Tenant to sell or to convey by will or be transferred to the Tenant's heir if he died. In modern law, almost all land is held in fee simple and this is as close as one can get to absolute ownership in common law. It was in this context that the Mortgage Recission Period began their dominion over the seas and their explorations which led to the modern nations of Australia, Canada, New Zealand and the United States of America. The concept of developing an informal association of local real estate agents originated in the United States in the 1880s, and by the turn of the century about 15 Real Estate Boards had been established. The National Association of REALTORS® (NAR) was formed in the U.S. in 1908 with 19 boards and one state association. Organized real estate in Canada is almost as old as the country itself. The very first Real Estate Board was set up in 1888 in the growing community of Vancouver. Back then, a commercial lot on Hornby Street near the Hotel Vancouver sold for $600. The Vancouver Board - as it was known then - was active until the start of the First World War, when operations were suspended. It resumed in 1919, and has been operating ever since.
The distinction of the oldest, continuous running Board belongs to Winnipeg, Manitoba. It started in 1903, and the Winnipeg Real Estate Board was the first in Canada to celebrate its 100th anniversary. The Toronto Board was incorporated in 1920, followed by boards in Ottawa, Hamilton, Regina and Victoria in 1921. More than half of the existing Real Estate Boards in Canada were created after 1955, in part because of the evolution of the “Photo Co-Op System” that was introduced in 1951. That was the forerunner of today’s MLS®, introduced in 1962. The Co-op System not only created a need for an organization to establish rules and promote co-operation among agents, but also to provide funds to operate a real estate board. That’s when technology first changed the real estate industry.
Short Sales in Real Estate
Monday, December 24, 2007
Comical View of the Progression of short sales over time
What exactly is Post Modern Real estate transactions?? Let's take a look back at history...
Cavereal estate broker
Real estate broker bonks the shortsale on the head and drags her home.
Tribe
Real estate broker goes to the other appraiser’s house/tribe and steals the shortsale he wants (this continues until the Fall of Troy when people realize it really isn't worth it).
Classical
Real estate broker or his family goes to the shortsale's family and arranges to bring the two families together; goats and sheep are exchanged (sometimes camels).
Medieval
A mix of the classical and tribe approaches - the king gets to bonk the shortsale (not on the head, but in bed).
Revolutionary/Bohemian
Real estate broker starts to woo the lady and convince her that short selling conquers all and the world is full of revolutionary ideals.
The Gilded Age (The 10s thru 20s)
Life is all about big band, big parties and unrequited short selling - where the young working class realtor meets the high society shortsale, they fall in short selling, but can never be together.
Return To Innocence (Late 40s thru early 50s)
Realtor meets shortsale, realtor loses shortsale, realtor finds shortsale again, and everyone lives happily ever after in a house with a white picket fence (Pleasantville).
Rock & Roll (Late 50s thru early 60s)
Realtor chases shortsale, realtor gets shortsale, Rock & Roll star chases shortsale, and the realtors play chicken to see who gets shortsale (Happy Days).
Psychedelic (Late 60s)
Realtor meets shortsale, they get high together, and the free short selling flows.
Disco (The 70s)
Disco brings couples or groups together to the tune of “Short selling will bring us together.”
Progressive (The 80s)
Realtor meets shortsale, shortsale meets other realtor, everyone gets confused, and no one knows who's supposed to be asking out whom.
Modern (The 90s and early 2000s)
Everyone chases everyone, the internet and technology makes real estate transactions more available but less decipherable, and no one is sure about or comfortable with the situation.
Post Modern (Today and beyond)
Order is restored! Communication and respect re-emerge and people once again enjoy the ritual of real estate transactions.
Cavereal estate broker
Real estate broker bonks the shortsale on the head and drags her home.
Tribe
Real estate broker goes to the other appraiser’s house/tribe and steals the shortsale he wants (this continues until the Fall of Troy when people realize it really isn't worth it).
Classical
Real estate broker or his family goes to the shortsale's family and arranges to bring the two families together; goats and sheep are exchanged (sometimes camels).
Medieval
A mix of the classical and tribe approaches - the king gets to bonk the shortsale (not on the head, but in bed).
Revolutionary/Bohemian
Real estate broker starts to woo the lady and convince her that short selling conquers all and the world is full of revolutionary ideals.
The Gilded Age (The 10s thru 20s)
Life is all about big band, big parties and unrequited short selling - where the young working class realtor meets the high society shortsale, they fall in short selling, but can never be together.
Return To Innocence (Late 40s thru early 50s)
Realtor meets shortsale, realtor loses shortsale, realtor finds shortsale again, and everyone lives happily ever after in a house with a white picket fence (Pleasantville).
Rock & Roll (Late 50s thru early 60s)
Realtor chases shortsale, realtor gets shortsale, Rock & Roll star chases shortsale, and the realtors play chicken to see who gets shortsale (Happy Days).
Psychedelic (Late 60s)
Realtor meets shortsale, they get high together, and the free short selling flows.
Disco (The 70s)
Disco brings couples or groups together to the tune of “Short selling will bring us together.”
Progressive (The 80s)
Realtor meets shortsale, shortsale meets other realtor, everyone gets confused, and no one knows who's supposed to be asking out whom.
Modern (The 90s and early 2000s)
Everyone chases everyone, the internet and technology makes real estate transactions more available but less decipherable, and no one is sure about or comfortable with the situation.
Post Modern (Today and beyond)
Order is restored! Communication and respect re-emerge and people once again enjoy the ritual of real estate transactions.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
ShortSales, Short Sales, Short-Sales, Soupy Sales
Soupy Sales also knows in some circles as ‘short sales’ or ‘shortsales’ and ‘short-salesman’ (born Milton Supman on January 8, 1926) is an American comedian and short sale of real estate actor.
Sales got his unusual nickname from his family and from the real estate short sales or short soupy sales of real estate. His older brothers also involved in real estate short sales had been nicknamed "Hambone short sales" and "Chicken Bone brother of short selling"; young short sale real estate tycoon Milton was dubbed "Soup Bone the short sale genius," which was later shortened to "Soupy the short sales of real estate." When he became a short sale disc jockey, he began using the short sales stage name "Soupy short sales of real estate Hines." After he became established as the short salesman, it was decided that "Hines the short sales of real estate" sounded too close to short sales or short selling Heinz, a company who make a range of short sales soups, and so short sales Soupy chose the surname "short sales and Sales short of real estate" after comedian Chic Sale and short sales of real estate.
Sales is best known for his shorts sales of real estate and long-running daily noontime children's television show about short sales and short selling real estate. The show was originally called 12 O'clock Comics of short sales and was later also known as The Soupy Sales Show. Improvised and slapstick in nature, Lunch with Soupy short Sales was a rapid-fire stream of short selling sketches, gags, and puns about short sales of real estate . Almost all resulted in short Sales receiving a pie in the short sales face of short selling, which became his trademark of short sales of real estate.
Short Sales developed pie-throwing into a short seller’s face as an art form — straight to the short sellers face, on top of theshort sellers head, a pie to both ears from short sale of real estate behind, moving into a stationary short sale pie and countless other short sale variations. By some estimates, Soupy has been hit by over 25,000 pies and did over 25,00 short sale sof real estate.
This has been a short sale of real estate parody about Soupy Sales. As a comedian, I am sure he would find the short sales of real estate part funny. I hope you did too.
Sales got his unusual nickname from his family and from the real estate short sales or short soupy sales of real estate. His older brothers also involved in real estate short sales had been nicknamed "Hambone short sales" and "Chicken Bone brother of short selling"; young short sale real estate tycoon Milton was dubbed "Soup Bone the short sale genius," which was later shortened to "Soupy the short sales of real estate." When he became a short sale disc jockey, he began using the short sales stage name "Soupy short sales of real estate Hines." After he became established as the short salesman, it was decided that "Hines the short sales of real estate" sounded too close to short sales or short selling Heinz, a company who make a range of short sales soups, and so short sales Soupy chose the surname "short sales and Sales short of real estate" after comedian Chic Sale and short sales of real estate.
Sales is best known for his shorts sales of real estate and long-running daily noontime children's television show about short sales and short selling real estate. The show was originally called 12 O'clock Comics of short sales and was later also known as The Soupy Sales Show. Improvised and slapstick in nature, Lunch with Soupy short Sales was a rapid-fire stream of short selling sketches, gags, and puns about short sales of real estate . Almost all resulted in short Sales receiving a pie in the short sales face of short selling, which became his trademark of short sales of real estate.
Short Sales developed pie-throwing into a short seller’s face as an art form — straight to the short sellers face, on top of theshort sellers head, a pie to both ears from short sale of real estate behind, moving into a stationary short sale pie and countless other short sale variations. By some estimates, Soupy has been hit by over 25,000 pies and did over 25,00 short sale sof real estate.
This has been a short sale of real estate parody about Soupy Sales. As a comedian, I am sure he would find the short sales of real estate part funny. I hope you did too.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Lease Purchase in Florida
Lease purchase in florida is more popular with florida real estate than before. You can lease a property in florida and then buy it later. This is called a lease purchase in florida or some would call it the purchase of property through a lease purchase and buying after leasing.
I have also heard it called rent while buying real estate in florida. This way the florida renter does not have to qualify for a mortgage loan in florida at the begginning. The renter in florida should pay with a personal check and then he or she can buy the florida property in one year.
Many people are going through foreclosure in florida and are unaware that the landlord is going through florida foreclosure. This is noty a good thing for the lease purchase renter in florida. It is a case of buyer beware of the lease purchase in florida and you can rent in florida without the rent while buying clause.
Rent and lease purchase in florida on florida real estate for rent.
I have also heard it called rent while buying real estate in florida. This way the florida renter does not have to qualify for a mortgage loan in florida at the begginning. The renter in florida should pay with a personal check and then he or she can buy the florida property in one year.
Many people are going through foreclosure in florida and are unaware that the landlord is going through florida foreclosure. This is noty a good thing for the lease purchase renter in florida. It is a case of buyer beware of the lease purchase in florida and you can rent in florida without the rent while buying clause.
Rent and lease purchase in florida on florida real estate for rent.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Taxes on Short Selling Real Estate
The taxes on short sale of real estate seem to be treated differently according to this short sale real estate tax implications post I read. You can make up your own mind about the short sale tax implications or better yet, talk to a certified public accountant. I am not sure about the short sale taxes and how that affects short selling of real estate. Here is the short sale tax real estate post I am referring to. Short sell real estate seems to be more and more popular and the short sale taxes are a gift for taxes on real estate short selling. Does that make sense? Maybe this short sale real estate post will explain better. Or maybe not. You decide what the short sale tax affects are for your short sale or talk to your CPA first.
Here is the short sale real estate taxes article if you are interested in real estate short sales at all.
Here is the short sale real estate taxes article if you are interested in real estate short sales at all.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Short Sale Commentary in Florida
The intertoobz are insanely filled with short sale real estate in florida articles. Some are a little more zany than others. There was one short sale real estate in florida (or was it florida short sale real estate, I can't remember with all the real estate parties going on) that was a short sale strange one indeed. I don't have time to comment myself on the short sale in florida article. You can check it out here at short sale florida real estate.
A short sale on florida real estate article.
A short sale on florida real estate article.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Give it up for the Short Sale in Florida
May we have a round of applause for the florida real estate short sale. The florida short sale of real estate enables a buyer to buy real estate at a reasonable price since it is short the current mortgage amount. How short the florida mortgage amount and how short a short sale of florida real estate ends up is really up to you the buyer and the lender's florida loss mitigation department. Don't forget the BPO or drive-by appraisal on a florida short sale is the value the loss mitigation department will be looking for.
You don't want to overpay for a florida short sale and the bank doesn't want to let the property go for too much less than the BPO. It really is a short sale tugowar when you are short selling and dealing with the banks loss florida mitigation department and arguing over the property condition on a short sale. Are there repairs needed on teh short sale? That should help teh buyer on a short sale offer for real estate that needs repairs. You may be able to finance the repairs with an FHA 203k mortgage loan.
I would like everyone to know that florida short sales are a viable option for buying and selling real estate in teh short sale florida marketplace we are presently in. Don't lose your home to foreclosure when you have the option to sell you real estate on a short sale. Did I mention short sales are popular in mortgage broker Florida? Don't forget the florida short sale of real estate.
Search for short sales in florida.
You don't want to overpay for a florida short sale and the bank doesn't want to let the property go for too much less than the BPO. It really is a short sale tugowar when you are short selling and dealing with the banks loss florida mitigation department and arguing over the property condition on a short sale. Are there repairs needed on teh short sale? That should help teh buyer on a short sale offer for real estate that needs repairs. You may be able to finance the repairs with an FHA 203k mortgage loan.
I would like everyone to know that florida short sales are a viable option for buying and selling real estate in teh short sale florida marketplace we are presently in. Don't lose your home to foreclosure when you have the option to sell you real estate on a short sale. Did I mention short sales are popular in mortgage broker Florida? Don't forget the florida short sale of real estate.
Search for short sales in florida.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Short Sale Facts
Been looking for short sale facts around the short sale interenet and found a few short sale real estate blogs of interest. Here is a short sale on florida real estate blog. Here is a short sale story of a blog on florida short sale real estate. One other one of the short sale of real estate for floridians.
FHA Zero Down Mortgages in Florida
The FHA will soon offer a zero down mortgage in florida. The fha zero down mortgage program does exist already, it is in the form of down payment assistance. This is available in the state of florida and is not affected by the fha rules and regulation thus far. The litigation over the fha zero down mortgage is a subject for a future fha zero down mortgage program post in the future on the fha subject.
Primarily the topic for fha zero down mortgage loans in the state of florida is complicated. There are 3% down payment requirements for fha loans in florida. You can be gifted the 3% down program in florida and this intuitively is a zero down fha loan for the buyer. The reality is that 3% down payment and the fha gift requirements permit buyers in florida to buy fha loans with no money down.
Your fha zero down loan in florida can be located in florida. Do you want an fha zero down mortgage loan in Florida? Then look for the fha zero down program wherever it can be found. Particularly with real estate offices in florida that offer the fha zero down mortgage loan.
FHA zero down mortgage loan in florida.
Primarily the topic for fha zero down mortgage loans in the state of florida is complicated. There are 3% down payment requirements for fha loans in florida. You can be gifted the 3% down program in florida and this intuitively is a zero down fha loan for the buyer. The reality is that 3% down payment and the fha gift requirements permit buyers in florida to buy fha loans with no money down.
Your fha zero down loan in florida can be located in florida. Do you want an fha zero down mortgage loan in Florida? Then look for the fha zero down program wherever it can be found. Particularly with real estate offices in florida that offer the fha zero down mortgage loan.
FHA zero down mortgage loan in florida.
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